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Things That Makes A Healthy Relationship

For a healthy relationship, you need a number of ingredients.

These include a feeling of closeness or connectedness. This is necessary for love, playfulness and fun. You could call this part chemistry. You also need co-operation and communication.

I tell people to approach a relationship as they would in a business agreement.

Some say that's not romantic but you can't have romance without trust, and you can't have trust unless you can communicate with each other.

Compatibility, or common values and beliefs on everything from money to childrearing is also essential. You also need a caring component to the relationship and this is where many Lao women come unstuck.

In Lao culture, Lao women look after their husband and children very well and alot of women don't think they're important. If you care for yourself, and take time for yourself, you are more likely to say no to an abusive relationship. Self care can be as simple as taking 30 minutes a day for yourself, whether it is to read a book, indulge in a hobby, or go to a buddhist temple.

If you are in a healthy relationship, you must be treated with respect, which means your boyfriend or girlfriend:

1. Is willing to compromise.
2. Lets you feel comfortable being yourself.
3. Is able to admit to being wrong.
4. Tries to resolve conflict by talking honestly.
5. Enables you to feel safe being with them.
6. Respects your feelings, your opinions and your friends.
7. Accepts you saying no to things that you don't want to do.
8. Accepts you changing your mind.

Can you spot the warning signs of a bad relationship?

1. Feeling controlled or needing to control your partner.
2. Feeling smothered, worried, trapped, anxious, insecure or overwhelmed.
3. Feeling that you need to rescue your partner.
4. Being ignored by, or choosing to ignore, your partner.
5. Feeling manipulated or using manipulation on your partner.
6. Withdrawing from your partner.
7. Yelling and screaming at your partner or being yelled and screamed at.
8. Any physical abuse, no matter how “small” it seems.
9. Feeling humiliated or worthless.
10. Feeling that you can’t see your family or friends without his or her disapproval.
11. Obvious signs that you or your partner feel extreme jealousy.

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